The Story of How I Packed my Shit and Left + Complementary Rant About Maddening Lack of Professionalism in the Equine Industry

Okay, so I finally caught enough of a break today to regale you all with a tale--a wondrous tale about a girl who misplaced her final Fuck for a certain BO's feelings, and then realized belatedly that she probably should've given that useless sucker away lightyears ago.

As you all are aware, I've been struggling with Spartan's weight for months now, which has actually been slowly but surely deteriorating, to the point that I've been having five barn people a day tell me my horse looks like shit (95% of who I'm sure walked away muttering under their breath about stupid newbie horse-owners who don't realize you actually have to feed your horse on a semi-regular basis for it to survive and stuff). The worst was when a trainer at my barn who I respected and who had helped me with Spartan's myriad issues since the very beginning called me out on his weight. It was a little bit crushing, since people don't realize how hard I've been frantically working to figure out my horse's issue and how well-educated I am on the feeding front. Let's review the shit I've done to try to fix my horse's weight issues over the past 5-6 months:

-moved him from pasture to a stall, where the subsequent daily & twice-daily turnout and graining need cost me hundreds $$$ extra every month
-bumped up premium grain amount to 11lbs per day
-added 5lbs of alfalfa pellets to feed per day
-conducted TWO full treatments for ulcers
-put horse on U-Guard
-tried 3 different kinds of $26 per bag of premium grains/feeds
-wormed with Quest Plus to knock out possibility of infestation
-had vet come look at his teeth & declared fine
-went through 2 different people to feed his grain/meds/supps because his complex feeding regimen has become a huge pain in the ass
-spent literal hours soaking and hand-crushing alfalfa cubes because they're supposed to be helpful for "ulcers"
-$$$$$$$$$$$ for days
-stopped riding the horse I had been peeing my pants over finally being able to ride because he's too thin

I could go on for pages but that's boring so I'll stop--you get the gist. I've been trying hard, and his weight would in fact improve to a degree, but then it would also drop again, in an endless but unsustainable cycle of weight gain and loss. WTF, right?

Guess what, guys? This is the best part. Turns out, even though my trainer had expressly told the BO that she could not under any circumstances feed my hardkeeper 5yo TB less than 4 flakes a day and the BO in writing replied that she would ensure 4 flakes were being fed, SHE NEVER ACTUALLY TOLD HER FEEDERS TO FEED MY HORSE 4 FLAKES AND INSTEAD THEIR FEEDING LIST FROM HER SPECIFIED THAT HE ONLY BE GIVEN 2 FLAKES A DAY. Two flakes. Per day. Only. For my 16.2 OTTB. Who's In. A. Stall. Yep. And I was paying an extra hay surcharge for the drought. While my horse's feed had been secretly halved. Lolz.

But guess what? This is not the end. This is the fourth time she has been dishonest about what my horse is being fed in the past 5 months. Let's review the past damage:

1. Horse is in retirement pasture, where he's supposed to be fed 4 flakes of (albeit low quality) hay.

=> Reality: He's "secretly" given 0 flakes a day because there are microscopic sprouts of grass and spiny weeds in there because it rained for 1 day that he can surely live off of, lol.

2. Horse moved to regular, more expensive pasture because owner (i.e me) says hell no to her hard keeper TB being fed nothing but weed scrub, and horses in here are supposed to be fed.

=>Reality: Horse is again "secretly" fed 0 flakes because there's microscopic weed and grass tufts from a couple days of rain in here too on which my horse can heartily subsist while in full work

3. Trainer and I both remind BO that there is no way in hell she can feed 0 flakes and needs to feed my horse 4 immediately, and BO says will do!

=>Reality: My horse is "secretly" given only 3 flakes for no reason, despite being told explicitly and fifty times and by multiple people that he needs to be fed 4, like I'm paying for, period.

4.  Horse is moved to stall at owner's expense because he looks like shit, and he should be getting 4 flakes a days, as per duh.

=>Reality: Horse is "secretly" only fed TWO FLAKES per day.

5. I freak out, and both trainer and I tell BO once more, wtf this horse MUST BE FED 4 FLAKES woman, and BO agrees and says she'll ensure it's changed.

=>Reality: She never gets it changed, and the feeders feed my horse 3 flakes of their own volition because they see my horse is skinny and feed bad so give "extra."

Wait I guess that's five--oh well!

All this while, I'm freaking out trying to figure out what's going on with my horse's condition, not expecting the issue to be how much hay he's being fed, since the BO assured that he would be fed the correct amount pronto. Months pass. My horse's weight deficit grows and grows and I spend $$$$$$$$$ trying to diagnose an issue that doesn't exist.

So this time, when I found out from the feeders that Spartan was again not being fed what I was promised, I had this novel thought. All my Fs were gone. F you very much barn. You suck to extremes I can't even quantify.

I picked up my phone. I packed my shit. I put my horse (on the second attempt, after he decided to break loose twice and otherwise act like an asshole non-OTTB) on a trailer. And I said, peace out beautiful but incomprehensibly terribly managed barn. I will never come here again.

Here are some pics from how "glorious" Spartan looked the day I decided my Bullshit Buffer was completely expended:

I have to link these pictures in a second post later, because their size doesn't quite let you see how his skin is literally sucked into his bones like a skeleton--you will be outraged, seriously. The new BO who came to pick him up said, quote, "Wow, I'm shocked at how bad he looks. I know you told me his weight was really horrible, but I honestly didn't expect it to be true."

Ugh. So angry. 

On a happier note, look at Spartan's new digs! His stall is basically a mansion, and he's looking better already after only days at the new barn: (also keep in mind the lighting in here hides how bad his weight is)

The hole was patched an hour after this picture, lol.

meeting friends.

oh merg gawd, no way, must roll in freshness!

Yum, food!

Nom nom nom, must eat all things.

Omg, fat horses and so much food--who would've thought!

And a vanity shot that hides Spartan's crappy wight because he's embarrassed.

Anyways, back to story. Let's just say much drama occurred and is occurring with old BO, but like I said, I'm hardly sympathetic. We shall not discuss the bulk of that here. 

What did happen though is that I called the vet out the very next day after moving Spartan, and had her give him a thorough once-over. She said his weight must just be the result of months and months of not being given sufficient hay, with the deficit just piling up over time. She also said it would take at least 3 months for his weight to be back to it's former glory. 3 months. I'm supposed to be leaving, WITH SPARTAN, the first week of August for our cross-country trip to UVA Law in Virginia. What is a girl to do? It seems he very well might not be healthy enough to travel on such a long and stressful journey? So will I have to leave without him, leaving me horseless and him owner-less for months? How will this work? Thank you, old barn, for messing up my long-standing, eagerly anticipated life plans. That is so cool of you; I'm thrilled. 

It doesn't end there though. Another reason I called the vet out was for her to either corroborate or put  my EPM suspicions to rest. Unfortunately, the verdict was not good. :( But I will discuss that story in a separate post, despite my misleading Complementary Equine Industry Rant blog title. This post is already a megaladon by itself, so I don't want to irritate people's aesthetics with a mega-megapost. 

Stay tuned for a bummer vet update that will literally be posted in another few hours--lol. But not lol. :/