Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Life is...Life.

What's the point of growing angry or falling into seductive sadness? We have to focus on putting one foot in front of the other, forging ahead even when our eyes are closed and we have no idea what might be five inches in front of our noses.

If I stop to think about it, I realize that nothing about this is fair, and I just can't understand why these things are happening to me--it's one-way street to Bitterville. And the cost of living there sucks, the nightlife is nonexistant, and the demographic is, shall we say, Peoplewhohatetheirlives-heavy, so remind me again why we'd want to move down there anyways?

Here are the facts of the matter.

Spartan did not respond to his EPM treatment, Oroquin (Orogin). Bummer.

So that leaves us with a couple possibilities of what might be happening here.

#1. Spartan has Lyme.
#2. Spartan, from the numerous (lmao, that's an understatement) injuries he's sustained (including galloping full-tilt into an electricity pole and eating major shit in Dec, and being tangled in a halter against the fence for an entire night in Feb), has injured his vertebra, and this is now causing him to be neurological
#3. The Oroquin simply did not work for Spartan and he may still have EPM

#1 and #3 are frankly unlikely, guys. It's #2 that has already become my reality. If it's such an injury along his spinal cord...it's game over for Mr. Spartan. What can I do about that? My sweet baby horse will have to be retired to a pasture, where he'll grow unpredictably worse with time, alone, while I'm in the East Coast, unable to see him...or take of him...or comfort him. How rapidly could he keep degenerating? In the span of 3 months he already falls on his face and hates cantering; only travels at a walk when he used to live for running, as fast as he could go, like he still thought he was still a racehorse beast; buckles and nearly falls at times going down hills; trips all day everyday doing nothing, you get it.  His heart is young but his body is old. What can you do? One step at a time. One day at a time.

He's officially retired, and my only goal now is to keep him going that way, as long as I can, so he can live the happiest and most carefree life possible for him, with as much time as he's got in the bank. He's staying here, on the West Coast. I hope he'll hang in there for me until I can finish up school and come back to him.

I have nine days until I leave for Virginia. What a time crunch. Talk about horrible timing for this to be happening, right? In the little time I have, Spartan has a major visit arranged with the vet.

-He will probably be put on Doxycycline for a month in case it is, please Karmic forces of the Universe let it be, Lyme.
-He will get his neck and back xrayed and ultrasounded, to look for vertebral injury or arthritis
-He may undergo a myelogram to check for spinal compression from injury
-maybe we will test or treat again for EPM, this time with Marquis...

This horse made my dreams come true, just by being mine. I've been taking lessons since I was 9, and I got Spartan when I was 21, my very first horse! When I first set eyes on him when I got out of my car at Golden Gate, I literally burst into tears like a freak because I didn't think he could be real, and that he could actually be mine. He was so stunning and serene--he was perfect. I don't regret a day of our unconventional partnership. He's basically my 1200lb Labrador. On that note for now, here are cute pics of the fellow from yesterday.

Hi, my face is gray because I rub myself in poop. :)

SorryI'mnotsorry, lulz.

Wreaking havoc is a perfectly acceptable pastime.


  1. I'm so sorry sweetie - i have no words, I just wish i were closer and could wrap you in a mahoosive hug!

  2. Omg :(
    They can test for Lymes so you dont have to treat ( doxie out here is hard to come by) unless hes positive. Lymes real common out here. I never even thought of suggesting it as a possibilities because you are in CA. I hope whatever it is you can find the answers you need.

  3. I hope it's something as simple as Lyme! A horse in my barn presented as super neurological last fall, and that's all it turned out to be.

  4. I'm so, so sorry that this is happening to you right now :-( Starting law school is stressful enough

  5. Hey girl, was thinking about you, just wanted to let you know. Hope VA is going well <3

  6. Somehow I missed this... let us know how it's going and how he is doing. Thnking about you both!!